


Diagnosis: Love

by darthhellokitty



Series: The Magic of Puggy Sue [2]
Category: Highlander: The Series, House M.D.
Genre: F/F, Humor, M/M, Pets, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-03
Updated: 2011-04-03
Packaged: 2017-10-17 12:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/176726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthhellokitty/pseuds/darthhellokitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new doctor (Anne Lindsey from Highlander) brings chaos, love, and a very special little dog to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diagnosis: Love

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: This is just objectionable on so many levels. Characterization is the least of it, believe me.  
> DISCLAIMER: None of this belongs to me, nor should it.  
> This is the second in the Puggy Sue series, where a small dog spreads the magic of love wherever he goes. It was my husband's idea.

Not ten A.M. yet, and already things were sucking at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. House's iPod had a bad battery, which meant his personal soundtrack had gone from "Who's Next" to sick people whining. Cameron had cornered him in the hallway for one of *those* conversations, which made him seriously consider carrying pepper spray. The kid who came in last night with a mysterious rash had now advanced to difficulty in breathing, which had Chase arguing with Foreman about vasculitis. And where the hell was Wilson? He needed Wilson. Also, a refill on his Vicodin.

As House limped down the hall toward his office, Cuddy intercepted him.

"Just to let you know. You've got a little girl in your office."

"Does she have an interesting disease? Tell me she has an interesting disease."

Cuddy glared at him. "She's perfectly healthy. She just needs somewhere to hang out until Dr. Lindsey gets hold of her backup sitter. And you have a DVD player in your office."

Right. That new doctor from Seacouver. Lindsey something or something Lindsey. He hadn't even met her, and already she was a pain in his ass.

"Where's her regular sitter?"

"He's in room 257. With an interesting disease."

"Oh, our friend Itchy. Right. So Shirley Temple here is going to give us all leprosy..."

"She's going to sit quietly in your office and watch DVDs for couple of hours, and you're going to - "

And then it got worse, because when House opened his office door, two little heads tilted adorably, looking up at him. Both had big brown eyes. One had perfect dark-brown curls; the other, a long, pink tongue and a flat face.

Oh, shit. Not just a cute little girl, but her cute little pug dog too.

"Hi Dr. House. I'm Mary Lindsey. Do you wanna watch Star Wars?"

***

House scribbled on the diagnosis blackboard. "Rash. Itching. Trouble breathing. It all points to allergies."

"It can't be allergies," Chase remarked. "He's been here in isolation since yesterday. What's he got to be allergic to?"

"Stupidity? Lack of imagination? Has anybody tried Benadryl on him?"

"Three times. He gets better, then an hour later it's back."

"Three times. Three times. Foreman, what else has happened three times since he's been here?"

"Well, his girlfriend visited. But he isn't allergic to her, or at least he wasn't before."

"Could she be bringing something with her?" Cameron suggested. "Pollen on her clothes, some kind of strange perfume maybe - "

The meeting was interrupted by a commotion in the hallway.

Adorable little Mary Lindsey was chasing her adorable little dog down the hallway - straight through the doors into the isolation ward.

Soon, the two were followed by all the doctors. Except Wilson. Where the hell was Wilson?

Up and down the hall they ran. House had an idea, though. What could that little dog be looking for? The sitter, of course! He went around the other way and calmly walked in, finding Wilson leaning over the boy's bedside, looking worried. The boy himself was gasping pathetically.

"I think he's going into shock. I'm going to try Benadryl again - "

That was all Wilson had time to say before the dog, Mary, Chase, Foreman, Cameron, and - what the hell - the wonderful Dr Lindsey herself, whose fault all this was, came running in the door. The dog jumped up, Mary dodged down, and all the doctors hit the floor in a series of painful heaps.

"Fuck!" House yelped. He was wedged between the bed, the floor, and Wilson's knee. Oh. That wasn't actually Wilson's knee, but House was in too much pain to think a lot about that. He reached under the bed, where his cane had rolled, and grabbed a bag of chips.

"Yeek!" Wilson scrambled, rolled over, got up and started to help House up, all in one movement, while House grabbed the bedrail with his free hand, pulling himself up.

"What is THAT?" Foreman snagged the strangely-labeled - and half-empty - bag of chips from House's hand.

"What do you know." Chase shook his head. "Japanese squid-flavored potato chips."

"My... favorite..." wheezed the white-faced, gasping boy in the hospital bed, as Mary Lindsey's little pug dog gazed at him with a worried expression.

"Hi..." breathed Cameron and Anne Lindsey, simultaneously. Anne had landed on top of Cameron, and they lay face to face in what might have been the missionary position if it weren't for the fact that many missionaries would object to the love blooming simultaneously in their once-broken hearts.

"Whoa." Dr. House stood up, and suddenly realized he was in no pain whatsoever.

***

It was a million-in-one chance, apparently; not even Dr. House understood how it worked, and god knows he was the world expert on his own formerly-lame condition. Somehow, the way he'd fallen, with Wilson on top of him, had triggered a spontaneous recovery in his damaged thigh muscle. Seven years of agony were gone in a heartbeat.

Once Chase and Foreman got rid of the Japanese squid-flavored potato chips, Mary Lindsey's sitter recovered quickly. Soon the sitter, Mary, and Mary's adorable little dog were happily watching videos in House's office.

"Hey, come and look, Dr. House! It's the Darth Maul part!" Mary enthused. "Look how Ming barks when he sees him!"

"Noisy little bastard, isn't he?"

"He isn't a basset. He's a pure-bred specially trained pug dog. Aunt Manda said so. She must love me a lot, to give him to me!"

"Yeah, either that or hate your mom a lot to pass him off on her."

"Ming's name used to be Bling, but mom changed it."

Where the hell was Dr. Lindsey, to take the whole circus act home with her and leave his office in peace? House didn't wonder where Cameron was; as long as she wasn't pestering him it didn't matter.

He wandered out into the hallway, where at least things were quieter. He considered his options carefully, and then he said "Why not?" and practically skipped to Wilson's office.

"You wanna go dancing?"


End file.
